home sweet home...

I'm home finally...Been a busy past week...The short stay at singapore was fun too....The one pricey buy there was a swarovski studded beautiful compact from the souvenir shop outside the zoo...which btw is a tropical haven....very pretty....and I finally ended up seeing the ozzie national anmimal at the singapore zooo....!!

Reached kolkata on 17th night...As much as I pine to get back home all the time...the moment I landed attitudes of people around tend to piss me off....neway...starting junking on junk food from day one...and it indian junk food tastes as good as ever...yet to have phutchkas and jhal muri etc...

Met up with two school friends yesterday...meeting point few of the landmarks we always used to meet at...this time it was nandan....My friend R arrived a tad later than she was meant to....and since the time I entered nandan I had noticed a looser eyeing me....finally after a lot of following around he comes up to me and goes..."tomar naam ki?" ...i lie ...then he goes "karur jonno wait korcho?"...and i nod my head....but he continues..."tumio eka amio eka...cholo kache kothao coffe kheet jawa jak..." and I go no...i don't just go with strangers to have a cup of coffee...but persistent looser keen of "franship" continues...."ami jemon temon chele noi....some banker manager...franship korte chailei 5 minute e kora jaye....number dao tomar...please...." by this time i was tired of saying no and freaked out that he would do something crazy...so i called up R and told her a guy was following me around...and inspite of the numerous blisters on my feet (so smart of me to wear new stilletoes and get blisters all over!!) I almost ran..... and I used to think bangalis are in general less of a looser than others....
Not much has changed in kolkata since I was here last year...Its like the city that doesn't change....

It felt very good catching up with old school friends....we wouldn't stop saying "i can't believe we are sitting here talking like in the good old school days." ....... Everyone around has been going on about the new South city centre tooo...so I had to get a sneek peek of the place...and I did..impressive..four storey mall...which has internatioonal brands outlets...and whats convinient is..its about 15 mins from my place....

Have an assignment to tak ecare of and a hurrried lunch to attend to today...so better rush now...

end of hybernation...

I haven't blogged or read others blogs for a while now... Just that I coudn't be bothered kindof attitude has set in .... I couldn't be bothered with nething....Don't want to give a damn about anything....because I have seen at the end of the day it doesn't matter whether you are honestly trying hard to get stuff right or just are another mindfucked soul... trying to make sense of whatever the hell is the way it is and why..... Have been watching a lot of movies of late...at least 1 every night...past midnight.....having difficulty sleeping...getting oe nights peacefull slumber would be welcomed above anything else....Insomnias just become the way of life..and I have tried hard to fight off the millions of things tht I seek answers to...but to no avail...may be I'm destined to be one of the million of unhappy people who just give up after a couple of fights and just learn to live life and accept what has been bestowed (shoved ur way) on one....

I am supposed to get back my marked thesis tomorrow (fingers and toes crossed) and also have the stupid Pol. Eco. presentation tomorrow....I absolutely detest the subject...thank god my topic wasn't that boring...actually its kindof interesting...the importance of econophysics...or the extent of application of physics to economics.... Im all packed ..took me two hours to get that done.... Have to do a fair bit of assignment correction for one of the units I taught this semester...between wednessday and friday...and thn saturday I am free to fly......

I've been looking forward to me trip for a long time now....impatient-ly crossing of days of my calender...but somehow now that its merely 4 days away...I don't feel that rush or excitement...that feeling which is all to familiar when I'm about to go home..anymore...Wonder why.... don't have tht many friends back home nemore..but I can makedo with the buddies that are still hanging around....I guess.... I have to make an extra honest effort to stay home a lot more than last time....so my parents stop winging about me not spending enough time at home last summer..... I guess they are right in their own way......

Next post shall be in about the escapades in India....

an evening to remember....

tonight was a night I shall not forget in a long time....It started like any ordinary saturday.... I had stayed over at my aunts place yesterday night....and today woke up in the morning to my cousin commenting..I'm a very cuddly person to sleep with (hey hey don't take it in a wrong way!!! giggly girls sleeping together and chattering away all night is the image I'm trying to project here)....

Neway I helped out with some garden work for a while...and then I was running late..had plans for the evening... Got dropped of at the station....caught a train back home reached at 2:15pm...went straight to the loo took a warm shower after a change of clothes....and by the time I was starting to get ready...my friend was already knocking on my door......it was mean to be mainly a beach plan...extensive playing with sand and splashing arnd in water followed by movie or dinner plans for the evening....

Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong today.... We were a group of 5 people...two girls and three guys....three of us forgot the obvious-to get change of clothes and towels...and to top it alll......big mistake- wore white cotton three quarters with a thin white cotton top...and realisation of my stupidity dawned on me when two of the guys started walking to the change room to change into swimwear stuff....I could only wait around the edge of the water and watch em...having lots of fun....and felt like killing myself....Could not believe I did something that stupid...... My three quarters got wet in the wrong places nonetheless....from the little bit splashing around and the sudden spray.... :(

we left the beach around 7:15....sat around and talked for a bit and then went to the respective cars to drive to the city.....but bad luck struck agian....we somehow managed to lose the parking ticket....it slid through the little gap between the steering wheel and the display screen place.....and we spent almost 15 mins searching everywhr for the frikkin piece of paper.....thinking all this while ...what the fuck was goin on? how could it just disappear when it was in my hand just 5 seconds before it went missing....and no one had left the damn car!!!

It was found at last and then the ticket reader would't open for some reason and we had to wait around for an hour before some fucking idiot responsible for smooth operation and security of the parking lot decided to get off his ass...and do what he is paid for...

This was followed by us getting lost in the city and drove around like crazy for about 40 mins and then finally got to the place where we were actually supposed to get in 10 mins....two hours late..and then had dinner at a crap chinese restaurant with food that looked and tasted disgusting....and had mushrooms tht looked like diseased tumours and smelt of god knows what.... the mushrooms (which btw I had to ask one of them...what the brown flappy thingie was?) ...and we were so gonna order fukien fried rice....( fuckin fried rice?!? WTF??) but then decided against it...god knws if what wld be in the fuckin fried rice if thats what they have named it.. :P

and to end the eventful night I lost my phone.....we left the restaurant at 11:15 pm I realised i didn't have my phone at 12:30 am...too late the restaurant was closed and I don't feel to hopefull abput getting my phone back..which means im stuck paying for the phone i don't have nemore and have to get a new phone...

this will stay etched in memory for a while....

sweet...

life's sweet...not always...I'm sure like me a million other people all over the map think at certain times "why më?".... well i am beginning to discover how you can choose to feel the way you feel..... if you are unhappy you can either sit and brood or do something to make life better....

Right at this moment I'm frikkin happy with myself....few odd reasons...enough to make me feel like I'm moonwalking... free of that pull....

I submitted my thesis...I'm not 100% satisfied with my output though... I keep getting this feeling like I missed something.....another couple of weeks till the last piece of assessment is due... and then its all over...one chapter of life completed...and I move on to the next after a brief break...... which I hope shapes up the way I have imagined it in my head.. ;) lat year it had exceeded my expectations....:)

Saw a great flick today "body of lies"....another of ridley scotts kick ass action flicks.... And yet another man added to my list... Leonardo di caprio.... wow that mans maturing with every film....and the man within is pushing through the boyish good looks :)...... Oh and Mark Strong one of the other actors in the film...a british actor whos done the middle eastern accent so welll...and He is sooooo HoT!!!....

thats a piece out of my not so eventful life.....seems like I'm stuck admiring these men... for days to come....

a lot like love...

I got another award by a fellow blogger...Thank you Krystal for awarding me the cutest blogger award...and she is also the tagger for todays post...

This is the first time I'm doing a tag....so here we go..
and its all about love...well lets say a lot about love...shall we....

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
well well reaction would be a three stage process for me...first immense anger,then a lot of pain and lastly slow acceptance...nothing u can do about it... :(

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
dream come true..i have always wanted to live in a mansion made of chocolate where taps when opened cough up coke and juice or melted chocolate.....something out of willy wonka's world or the house like the one the witch in hansel and grethel owned...

3. Why do you blog?
to let others know a tad more about me...and i guess it acts as a stress ball....not a ball..but lets the steam out when a lot of pressure builds up...

4. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
yeah may be..depends on if he is available....im rather picky so if its a best friend and single theres a big chance I really really like the fellow...:P

5. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
i would say being loved...you can love someone all you want..u would be blessed if that returns to u..that and more.. :)

6. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
depends actually....I could wait for quiet some time if I know for sure its meant to happen so day..may be not now but sometime in near future...just need that bit of reassurance to make it through the waiting period... :P

7. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
well my bad luck....not much I can do...about it..apart from break em up ...MUHAHAHA...no I wouldn't do that... :P

8. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
thats a hard one...I would say child abuse...It breaks my heart... o and also the plight of african natives...specially small kids...a million start their life with HIV in their bloodsteams... :(

9. What takes you down the fastest?
judgemental-morons-with-brains-the-size-of-peanuts-and-mouths-the-size-of-the-face-of-Luna-Park...

10.What resurrects you the fastest?
A good laugh...a meaningful conversation...LOVE...this one works for neone.. ;)

11. What’s your fear?
fear...well i feel lost at the mere thought of losing ones I love forever...I also have another fear...a nightmare that recurrs ever so often...I have walked out of home in the nude...Everytime I picture that I have been jerked out of deep slumber...


12. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I do not know her wellenough to comment...but from what I can tell...a good soul.. :)

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Depends on who I'm married to....actually no...all the happiness might just get sucked out when one has to deal with money matters and be parsimonious all the time...I pick rich and single... I still get to flirt with other men. yeah??

14. Whats the purpose of such Tags?
no purpose..just killing time ..and letting the world know ur personal choices... :P

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
thats a hard one...may be I won't pick but be happily in love with both...or may be ill pick the one thats crazier...

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
well if its a serious something which I know is mutual...hell yeah..give my all and more... :)

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
depends on what the act was....to be honest I might consider forgiving but forgetting never...!!

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
well better single than alone in a wrong relationship...but again if not that then no doubt in a happy symbiotic relationship...

19. Who/what inspired you to start blogging?
no one in particular heard a lot of people read a few...and so i decided to do it too...

20. Tag 6 people.
not just 6...everyone who reads this..consider urself tagged... :)

to the point...

not much has been happening...poojo came and went...I woudn't have known if not for posts and folks in india...lifes no different from what it was a while back..... well I'm not as miserable...thats a good thing... in dot points life is..

• its summer here....summer breeze..make sme feel good....
• planning on going to the beach....well first proper beach visit this summer...not counting the brief night at the beach a couple of weeks ago...where i walked on to a couple having sex on the beach....almost right next to where the waves come a break... hey don't roll your eyes...wasn't my fault..it was pretty dark..at 10:30pm...... i mean make pout fine...but stark naked on the beach..who wld think...
• thesis finally due...im handing in before the deadline :P
• watched "forgetting sarah marshall" "a lot like love"... (again :P i ox the film) and "the machinist" yesterday....
• someone told me i should socialise more and go out more and stay online less than i usually am...which is true...but somehow i get bored by people easily.....
• might go to a cbd hotel/club/bar...a friends boss is apparently a super kool DJ who is DJ-ing there tonight....so i guess another night of merrymaking etc...
• P is off to M to patch up with R...hope they reach a decision....they spend more time trying to hurt each other or nursing wounds...than happy-ly making out...involves a lot of verbal pain....why together if only to hurt the other one..might as well part ways...:P
• a month and a bit left till my much awaited get away....

well thats all for now.... :)

cirque du soleil...

summers here...violent summer breeze around me...more like norwesters in kolkata .....at times....yet another poojo almost gone..today is nobomi (i got it right this time :P) I was not in a mood to go attend the weekend rushed poojo that is a familiar picture in a couple of places here...

The weather was not that favourable anyway...went to watch Dralion (its a portmanteau..blend between east and west) on sunday...soptomi...and it was worth the money...very nice lightwork and costumes...the acts they put together were just as good...there was a big mess up with the special classes we were meant to be having over the long weekend....no one ended up going...

i was going through a lot of recent updates on blogville..and all bongs are no doubt raving and ranting about the poojos....and what they did (if they were in kol) or what they are missing and winging (if out of the city)... I would do the same normally...but right now I don't somehow feel like I missed much...usually I'm always on about how I'm missing it yet another time...whtevr..may be im finally getting used to the feeling...and may be I shall stop missing it..altogether in a couple of years time......

apart from that well not much to say actually...I am the proud owner of HOuse S 1 through to 5 (whatever has been aired already in the US ) :)....and now theres another month and few days till I'm Outta here...can hardly wait... :) subho bijoya doshomi to all (in advance).....

on an ending note...I had a lecture in the evening....and just when everyone (two other fellow class mates and the lecturer) was listening/bored....Matt...one of the guys farted real loud....and instead of trying to ignore what just happened....David asked him.."did U just Fart out loud?"....boy I almost fell off my chair...and it was a torture thereafter to stay in class and maintain a straight face...coz could hardly hold it in.... :P

saptami not here....

its a gloomy cloudy and drissly saturday...and its saptami today...(the seventh day of durga puja)...I was meant o be at uni...had special classes...but woke up with a horrible back ache and stomach cramps and the weather did nothing to help....so i skipped....and slept in till 12pm.....this is the fifth year for me missing poojo....

lovely are these last 5 days when pretty much anyone has the freedom and permission to do anything, go anywhere, chit chat all day, eat however much phutchkas (pani puris) and chaat and egg rolls and what not...

Miss those good old days....not much I can do....the past week has been non productive....due to lack of resources to work on....but this week onwards itll get back to being crazy....three major assignments sue by end of the month.... But I'm not complaining...41 days till I fly home....and time seems to be slowing down with every passing day... :(

hmmmm

unnecessary complications...and morons screwing things up...has become the way of life...it seems...

donno what to name it...

I haven't been able to completely fight off the blues...but somethings making a difference...guess what?? well off course Spring! Springs finally here and O mY my moods got a very high correlation coefficient with the weather..I can't handle gloomy rainy cold days...No wonder people in Britain complain all the time...crap weather has a lot to do with ones mood...
Its a wonderful feeling...the feel of pleasant gentle spring/summer breeze around...and yahooo beach days ahead too....and I also realised that I have been a recluse for a while..no human interactions and anger just too much to handle....So even though my things due in less than a fortnight...I decided to socialise and lighten up the mood the coming weekend...hopefully itll help....

I spent yesterday doind a tiny bit of research and mostly household chores...did a hell of a lot of laundry and cleaning...well couldn't leave the house since it was pouring every five minutes or so.....Have been watching House MD compulsively...

Had a meeting with a lecturer and fellow colleague first thing in at uni...I mostly nodded and uttered an occasional "hmm" "yes" "oh yeah" "absolutely" "fine"....coz i was incredibly sleepy...this after a weekend of pleasant 8 to 9 hrs sleep...donno why...but now I shall have to figure out what the meeting was about for myself before i have to teach that material tomorrow in class...:'(

I'm quoting a random blogger off the web..."Everybody is familiar with this day(monday)- it's a day when zombies rise from their death, walking aimlessly looking for things to remind them the suffering is real"...he says...

A Mundane Monday is a must. Even if you can temporarily disable the lethargic aura and face the day with your false sense of optimism, there's some 50 Mondays waiting next...and so it is...so true....

I'm slowly getting an interest for photography...well someday if im rich enough I plan to buy myself a camera...and go globe trotting and just click snaps of everything and anything...people into photography...u should check out the national geographic website....have some pretty amazing snaps up there...and mostly shot by random amatuers or about any bloke who layed a hand on a camera and happened to be at the right place at the right time with a camera in hand....but bloody brilliant some of them are....

I have been wanting to travell around the globe since the time I gained cognitive powers...I reckon its not gonna be that difficult to do it when the urge is so strong and all I can think about is this for a while....Well well...I am still on the lookout for fellow travellers...people willing to join in on the trip....three new cities got added to my must go list...Moscow, St Petersberg (previously aka leningrad) and the ancient city of persepolis...

An average Indian travells a lot apparently...I havn't been fortunate enough to travell around my own country that much...but hopefully things are about to change...and I have all these outlines in my grey matter...waiting to become reality.....

Well well.....for people who follow the Australian Idol 08...do you think Luke Dickens looks like he has a face vagina....(courtesy FRIENDS)...his little face fungus .....sticking out of his chin...looks like straightened pubic hair...!! this is what my friend P thinks...and I have to say the descriptions pretty close to the real thing... ;)
want proof..check this out..;)http://www.australianidol.com.au/photos.html?xmlFile=3017.xml

Have a great week people.....

with or without a reason...

I don't know if I should be happy or sad....I mean for any random joe blow..harry or dick....I would appear to be a normal happy soul...but I'm not....I think I know what the reasons are at times...but at others I'm at a loss for reasoning...to rationalise my own reactions and behaviour....

I'm not all that unpredictable...but theres this anger burning up a hole in me...anger for what I do not know....but I know I have this excess energy that needs to be channelised before it leads to something extreme....lifes been a boring monotonous something for as long as I can remember and I don't see it changing anytime soon....which pisses me off majorly....

I like things/people I would myself not categorise as nice/amiable....when I ask myself why...I can't find a reason for it.....well I can to an extent but still doesn't justify why I would stick to such and such....my studies are nearing an end....

Wanna switch my stream.....most people see it as immature and eccentric....but to me I have my own reasons....It'll make me happy...actually more than that....I am looking for a niche to ...get away from the mental turmoil that is churning up inside everyday.....

for now that has to be put on halt.....coz of lack of the right things.....but I hope I can get back to it a year or two from now....even to myself it sounds too far fetched at times......but I hope the instinct stays alive and I can pursue it....if not It'll be a regret i shall nurture forever...what if I had given it a try.....

theres too many what if's circling around teh periphery of me cephalon at all times....if only i could get some answer...if only.....

on a different note....I have been working my ass offf for the past few weeks....my supervisor is a boob-staring-good-for-nothing-ass who has not done much to help me with my research....he is not even hot..!!

I have been downloading a lot of disney animations and all of house MD episodes for a while now....I already have all of season 4...shall soon have the rest...a great addition to my repertoire...:)

I absolutely love house...I know you must be thinking (if u at all watch it) whts so great abt him....everything....he's whole persona is so attractive...hot old men..I have hots for lot of them....:).....Ihave changed my sleep cycle totally...I go to sleep arnd 3:30 am on all days but tuesdays....and I also am sick of teaching idiotic-dumb-arses-who-have-brains-the-size-of-peanuts....feel like stabbing myself at times....gets to me at times...:(

I still havn't been able to watch persepolis... :'( someone please come with me...anyone...please please....

watch this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_QMFJUX3JY&feature=related:) I plaigiarised the title of the post...its one of my favourite posts by a fellow blogger...oh but i guess its not plaigiarising...if i'm acknowledging it...:P

realisations...

I have a whole two months and 9 days till i fly out of here.... :)
I have started to like things I didn't... a good 6 mnths back....
I'm on good terms with someone I used to dote on again...(after a very bad phase which seemed to be here to stay)
I love and am obsessed with red....(next buy- beautiful blood red saree )....
I can be very patient if I want to....but equally impulsive when it comes to certain things.....
I am a different person from what I was a good two years back....
I like research work more than having to slog with stupid coursework units.....
I hate...absolutely detest winter...specially here......
I love the good old bengali "ädda"....(who doesn't??)...lol
I was never a big fan of fish as a kid..but now I would do anything for fish...
I tend to make a good judgement based on intuition and happen to be right most of the time.....
Its better to have a few very good indispensable friends than a million acquaintances....
I think ones better off alone than having to come back home to angry words or worse silence inspite of souls around...
reminds me of this song from an album by savage gardens...."more than angry words I hate this silence ...its getting so loud ...."

well well my weeks been a regular week...with not much ups and downs..the usual mondays and thursdays...and late night teachin on tuesdays....and friday was taken up by "adda"...someone left for india....hence..the adda....neway....I have a whole bunch of tutorial tests that need to be marked and sent of before monday....and I have deadlines of my own that need to be met....and I guess thats it...not much to look forward to untill singapore-india trip happens....apart from DRALION...early next month....Cirque du soleil is in the city till mid october....this 'll be my first show...they are amazing....worth paying $120 for a show...:)..... thats all for now....
well well...I have no life....its just uni and home....the only breaks are an accasional movie......and catching up with friends after a long-ish hiatus.....at Max Brenner chocolate bar...O i love that place....it looks like a place out of "charlie and the chocolate factory....it could very well have been a room in willy wonka's factory....has three drums of churning think chocolate....and three massive pipes running throughthat transfers chocolate to the bar.....yummm yummm!!!......


BTW did you know massive chocolate intakes can give you an orgasm....;)...lol....its an aphrodasiac afteralll.... ;)

Things are not going good with a certain friend...and its making me sad....:( I would like to mention I got my very first blogging friends forever award from Keshi.....mwaaaahhh...thanks girlie.....I'm happy to receive it....* can't help smiling*.....

A somebody sent this to me one day when I was feeling extremely low...and for some reason I was thinking abt that person today....we aren't in touch anymore.....but this is how it goes....

Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are happy as they make their minds up to be."
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself into it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do something I don't want to do—just for exercise. I will be honest about my feelings and take ownership of my needs. I will work to find ways to take care of myself.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress nicely, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with others, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests—hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. Sometime during this half-hour I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful.If we want to develop a mental attitude that will bring us peace and happiness, here is Rule #1:
Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

red dragon....!!

I'm mighty pissed rite this moment...well my laptop froze and for some reason when it unfroze (taking its own sweet time, like i have all the time in the world) my work was gone. Damn thing kept saying cannot find the file name...whatever...it was half a days work that i lost and with deadlines to meet...Im a fuming smoldering hot fire breathing dragon-ess rite this moment...I mean WTF?!! why me?? god I'm so angryyyyyyy now...
oh and btw....everyone around seems to be getting married...have they nothing better to do...??

what a day?!?

oh boy!!today was one of the most eventful days in a long time.....I had disturbed sleep yesterday night...and that certain Mr. Anshuman I mentioned in my last post well he has been trying to get friendly with me...he keeps mailing back after my polite byes...so i decided to just keep responding back out of curiosity...have a peek:

Me: Hey there,Gudluck with ur search. cheers

Him:thanks, Are you a student? bengali? if I am not wrong?

Me:Im for a bit...finish studies in Nov..:) How do you know I'm Bengali?

Him: হাউ আর ইউ? (that says how are u in bengali script) just guessed it. i have never come across any bengali in these countries. most are punjabi's, gujjus or muslims..are you going to work here or back to india? Aus is such a nice place to live. As a student you probably must have not seen the beautiful hidden places. do you drive? or uni - home - uni. My friends who study keep studying and working all the time. and they think australia is all about darling harbor or star city.

and theres some more...neway a minute ago got an email requesting addition to msn messanger... funny aye!!
the boy can't construct gramatically correct sentences and he claims to have spent his childhood in Britain...!!

I have been bombarded with emails from the guy....and i was thinking y?? I think it in fact got to my head...coz i had a nightmare last nite...saw that I have a scary ass stalker...and none other than this name popped into me head...and i woke up so scared....neway I have classes that I teach every wednesday morning from 10 to 1 pm straight...and guess when i woke up???
9:35AM!!!! all hell broke loose with the realisation...it takes me about 45 mins to get to uni from home.... thank my lucky stars...my uncle was the unit coordinator for the unit untill last sem..so he taught the first hour on me behalf... just saved my ass..!!!

and I forgot to take any food coz i was rushing....and food at the cafeteria - overpriced shit....which i don't feel like eatin...so i had nothing the whole day...and while on my way back home I got grilled chicken and garlic sauce (a whole massive tub) from a lebanese restaurant...and gulped down my food as soon as i reached home...felt just like heaven....I'm in love with this garlic sauce thingie...also been wanting to try hamas (after watching the zohan movie) ......

I have a ton papers to read and summarize before midday tomorrow and so ill be up till late doin my stufff....coz i have to literallly finish almost half the model and all the analysis and conclusion thngie.....within 2.5 weeks time...(which is to little!!:'(...) so I shall be off now....

monday blues....

I don’t like being sad .....I guess like most people.....melancholy/blues...are welcome sometimes though...teaches us to appreciate life and all that we have been blessed with.....I have started enjoying small things in life....at times a mere song i have been listening to...makes me so happy...at other times...a stupid offhand comment by a total stranger can ruin my mood for the day....specially so if its a stranger at times...coz i keep thinking WTF is her/his problem...another judgemental moron with a big mouth just being an ass without really seeing the whole picture....
Today was an average day...one of the highlights of the day was my new red bottle of French perfume....french connection...:P called tender love...it was really cheap too...a good purchase....another of those things added to me list...i have a fetish for shoes, and dresses and anything red and now parfum got added to the list....the other highlight was...I got a significant bit of my empirical model done...and things are going good with the thesis.... :)
I had put up an add on gumtree for Indian chicks looking for a roomie...coz I was planning on moving to a new apartment when i get back from india early next year...and I had put up this add yesterday...and today I get an email from some Mr. Anshuman Mathur....wishing me a very good evening...and offering a room in his two bedroom apartment in the CBD...and also with an invite to meet him and get to know him better...lol this after i specifically mentioned I’m looking for a female flatmate....boy oh boy....!!!have to say yet again....indian boys!!!
My current favourite songs are acouple of songs by this American singer/composer....I’m so addicted to his songs specially from his latest album....got introduced to them by a friend and have been crazy about him ever since....

finally got to watch House season 4 ep 14....had missed that earlier on...love that show and hugh laurie a lot....can't wait till season 5 starst this september.... :P

crash and burn...

Why love hate....well well.. I guess there are a variety of emotions...but it eventually burns down to “love” and “hate” innit?? Today was one of those days where I have been through loving and hating things...
Loved catching up with a friend over lunch...we had recently been through a rough patch...misunderstandings.....and all...the whole package..but we have made up...and it was good taking over lunch....I got to know certain things about the other person and so did the other...we talked about a lot of different things....when I was on my way for the rendezvous I had on my mind ..... “Oh god I have a lot to do and I hope its a short thing...”but when we began to part ways I was thinking...I really like the time we spent together...why were we on bad terms before....was it really worth it...OH well I’m glad alls good now....
Then I got back home and my sore arm has been troubling me since...its swollen and I’m having difficulty moving it around much...no wonder I am cranky today...a tiny bit...and then the one who was supposed to be going to watch Persepolis tomorrow cancelled...guess what the reason was??? “got drunk and fell down...hurt my knees so bad..that I can’t walk...”.....I thought...”good for you...moron...If you soak up liquor like a sponge...every night...U should have seen this coming...shouldn’t u have?”...I hate people who don’t stick to their words..btw...I’m not some crazy bitch who gets angry on “ä poor soul who just happened to cancel” no....I hate people who don’t honour their words...I hate liars and I hate people who are judgemental...and form preconceived notions without knowing the whole story....I label them...”morons with brains the size of peanuts and a mouth as big as the face at Luna Pärk”....(mentioned it once in my previous post too...)...
More reason for anger...had a tiny fight with someone...and for some odd reason it upset me...usually I’m not bothered by it....but today I was...to such an extent that I felt rage....such rage as I hadn’t felt for a while...and felt like breaking something...( it helps at times...helps release tension and stress...and most of all anger)....but instead I just went for a walk and let the cold winter evening breeze flow through my hair....(it was freezing today)....and got back home when I felt better...a little better...
I thought I could use a little distraction and chit-chat for a while with P but she’s kind of busy this whole weekend...the Bf is here...and she needs all the space one needs....so I didn’t bother her....I thought of watching a movie to distract myself....I usually do this when I am trying calm down...I reckon loosing oneself in the virtual world for a short time...is wonderful....and nothing works as good as a romantic flick...Watched SWEET NOVEMBER....was it the sweetest flick...and the saddest....and without fail my tear glands were working out like crazy....I mean this is the kind of romance I have always dreamed about...such things have been part of my fantasies for as long as I can remember...the swept off ur feet kind of ...feel good.....beautiful relation that you share with a significant other....very soothing and nice background score too...but It tugged on my heart strings...
I can only wish for something as beautiful to happen...someday maybe..will be my day....

and on an ending note watch this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0X2rbfF1n0

oye oye oye....

yet another random day of this not that special year....woke up late this morning...around 9 and felt like never uncurling myself or leaving my blanket...so another 10 mins..and another 10...added upto an hour and finally woke up at 10am....and needless to say OH crap need to rush now....and rush I did....although like a good "little girl" I had a cup-a-milk with heaps of drinking chocolat..in it...and a croussant...

have been trying to convinse people to watch persepolis with me...but no...people don't like watching unconventional films....DAMN!!...neway finally did find someone who agreed to come along...so Im watching it this sunday....

as soon as i reached uni....for some reason....my mood did a total 180 degree...I wasn't upset or annoyed when I left home...but by the time I reached uni....Í was feeling pretty angry...I try hard not to get worked up by what "judgemental morons with brains the size of peanuts and mouth as big as the size of the face at Luna Park"...usually have to say about me or how I live life....

But at times....things get to me..human after alll...and that too a tad too emotional...trying hard to be strong.....neway....I was pretty shocked when Mum mentioned somethign about getting settled and marriage etc...I mean she was talking about it happening next year...for a second I thought she was joking...but apparently not...the very idea...seems insane to me...the thought of being responsible for another person too when I barely manage to take my own seriously.....lol...Itll take a bit of convinsing when I see her later this year ....for her to drop that idea...but I can be convinsing and persistent....I always get my way...somehow.....always have since as far as I can remember...

Theres a millions different things still racing through my mind...and I cannot make sense of half the things....and this uncertainty about life scares me...I don't know what I want....(kindoff do..but not fully)...I don't know where Ill end up 6 months from now....I don't know who Ill be living with 6months from now...neither do I know If I will live here for long.......and the list of the unknown is long....

I bought a brand new flash drive (4GB) and the highlight of today is my brand new RED (blood red... :) ) bath towel...I'm just about three items away from being the proud owner of a head to toe "red" thingies...as part of my wardrobe...

indians..O!!

I get frustrated , disgusted,angry and sad sometimes when I analyse and notice the things indians do.....I mean things that are very typical of indians....
for instance...I live in a suburb where everyone is either korean or indian....well the blance is heavily tipping towards indian...rapidly...
I have noticed whenever I'm down at the local shop or the departmental store round the corner or even simply walking past...guys stare!!!and when i say stare it isn't just that they stare and then do whatever it is they were doing...its xactly the opposite...they stop what they are doin and stare like they have caught site of an ET.....there are two public telephone booths near my place..and trust me...hardly ever do I find it empty or should I say "Indian free"...when ever I pass by I can almost always hear some guy screaming at the top of his voice...dont be mistaken..its always a normal conversation...just soo loud that I pity the shop assistants near the booth...god save their eardrums...and thats not the end...if a girl passes by they do a complete 360degree to follow the chick with their gaze...I have ever so often prayed while passing through there...why doesnt one of them get strangled one day..should be a good lesson for the others who gawk at us....

My roomie P and I have this habbit of naming- wanna be cool, trying to be all "ojji...ojji...ojji" indian guys sporting gotees, and studs (sometimes more than one) and apache indian styled crew cuts....who wear tshirts so tight I can see their nipples standing out and it looks like the shirt could burst any moment (not being able to withstand the surface tension)- the likes of them "RAMBO"....

neway...a recent trip to an indian parlour left me disgusted...The lady who was serving me...had a horrible cough....and she didn't have the decensy to cover her mouth while coughing....so I was lying there with cotton thingies cvering my eyelids...while she was doing the threading...and she just kept coughing violently...and even while she was doing the cleansing....my o my....I was busy thinking....what was the point of the face cleansing...when may be all shes doing is spitting outher germs onto me face...ewoooo makes me shiver thingking of the day even now....I felt like telling her offf...for her disgusting habbit....but then could I..NO? because my eyebrows were at her mercy...I got back home and went to shower straight away...scrubbed myself raw...to get rid of all the "kooooodies" !

gggggrrrrrrrhhhhh!!!! :( oh sweet lord...Y ME???

on a ending note happy independence day to alll u :)

i feel dead...

tuesdays are one of the most hectics days ever....I mean i have 13 sometimes 14 hr. days...i currently feel dead...thats right...I feel dead...feel like I could go to sleep and never ever wake up again...AND if i do wake up then be immobile for the rest of my life...sooooooo frikkin tired...you must be thinking "O!how come shes complaining and blogging at the same time"...well I am forced to stay up and go through the material I have to teach at an early morning tute....WTF!!!!its like uni is becoming home for me...so I'm multitasking looking through that stuff...and listening to music to relax myself...and thought of venting my anger/frustration by blogging...

white etc.....

watched the second in the series of the three colours...yesterday night...stayed up till 2:30 am watching that film...another masterpiece by Krzysztof Kieślowski another of those oh my god love can be so painful *sob sob* moments towards the end...this ones about a Polish man who is a hairdresser and has a french wife. Movie starts off with her seeking divorce at a french high court...on the grounds that Karol ( the guy) couldn't consummate their marriage...and later she adds she doesn't love her husband anymore...the story moves on...Karol manages to get back to Warsaw with the help of a fellow polish bridge player Mikolaj...and eventually he becomes a rich , successfull businessman...who still hasn't been able to forget the wife and still loves beyond anything...he fakes his own death and frames his wife Dominique for it by crafty means...and the film ends with him staring at his wife in a prison cell....tears streaming down his eyes....

It got me thinking how powerful can love be....I mean if you love someone dearly and you are loved back...its all well and good....if not theres a chance that all hell might break loose....and I draw my example from this film....he was so much in love with his wife...but her repeated "no"for an answer to his "please come with me to Poland!" and his hatred for her....or may be her lack of reciprocation to his emotions.....turned him into a Mad-man with a purpose---a desire to see her suffer for making him suffer....

I have been through few such situations myself sometimes I have been on the receiving end , at some other times on the giving end....but I'm yet to feel emotions so strong as to be able to do something as crazy....I guess just havn't met that one person yet....who would bring that side of me out in the open....

Would like to know what any joe-blow would do on being blown away by some one they thought they loved more than anyone else....feel free to share your experience here....

Apart from this occassional escape into the virtual world where I can make evrything come true...to my likings....I have been rather busy...lifes turned into a mad rat race again....I wake up in the morning around 8 to 8:30 am everyday thinking oh crap I should have got up earlier....then I catch the bus to uni (yes i have started catching the bus instead of goin train-bus, allows me a fair bit of book reading time to and fro...) and once at uni....thankx to the idiots who are called "receptionist", try their hardest to make life a tad more difficult than it already is....I mean sisnce the time our room in the school has been taken away from us...I have to practically go beg them to let me use one of the many others that are not in use and lie locked up accumulating dust.....thanks to my uncle....he managed to get me through to the head of school and finally I have a room again....:) my dataset has been the core of all misery in my life over the past week and a half....its been giving bizarre...spurious results....God knows why...and I'm still in a fix about my final model....less than a month away from my final presentation....without the model...I can't work on the general stats...the analysis....my personla contribution...comparison with other studies in this field...or my conclusion...bloody HELL!!!

seems like the world is out to get me...nothing is going right in life starting from the tiniest thing to whatever else is of importance....to make matters worse I have also caught a bad cold...been sneezing,coughing incessantly..have a red runny nose...and it seems to be a never ending spell of winter...like the 100 year winter in NARNIA....( Narnia-the lion the witch and the wardrobe)....

I lost my glasses yet again...and now have to settle for lenses again much to my joy...my dad was surprised how I managed to loose three glasses over half a year...I told him...I always knew god wanted me to look HOT...which i so don't look if I have glasses on... ;).... Have an appointment with my optometrist tomorrow morning....and should have my 20/20 vision back latest by monday... :)

blue...

just finished watching the first in the series of the 3 colours...the story is not too long..neither is it a complicated story...just really well made...the sites and sounds and pictures everything has its own significance...nothing is meaningless....it shows the transformation of a widow...from great anger to grief to sadness ( she doesn't cry inspite of loosing her husband and child in a ghastly accident) to being herself and start living for herself...after learning about her husband's infidelity....I do not remember the name of the protagonist (Julie in the film...FRENCH film!!!)..but its been beautifully enacted...loved it...

subconscious speaks....

"When one is in a morbid state of health, one's dreams are often characterised by an unusual vividness & brilliance, & also by an extreme lifelike quality....

Sometimes the scene that is conjured up is a monstrous one, yet the setting and the entire process of representation are so lifelike & executed with details that are so subtle, astonishing, yet correspond in an artistic sense to the integral nature of the whole, that the dreamer himself could never invent them while awake, not even if he were an artist of the order of Pushkin...."...words of an author which mimics 'me' thoughts....

surreal images.....

yet another fleeting moment...

today was yet another regular day...uni resumed last wednesday...and my proscrastination has landed me in a tight situ.... yet another time.... :'( paying the price of the socialising and movie marathons during holidays.... I have strict deadlines (just about a month) and times slipping away like dry sand from a child's fist....

a certain someone on my bloggroll wrote this http://zewt.blogspot.com/2008/07/who-thou-seeketh-in-thy-sadness.html i.e.; made a reference in one of his posts...about people being with you only when sad and angry or unhappy abput something....well its all too true.....

theres this friend of mine well could actually rephrase myself...more of an acquaintance...who used to be part of our regular "hang-out"group....untill recently things started to go wrong...and to say the truth...she absolutely pisses the hell out of me..with her unhealthy curiosity and too many questions about everything that has nothing to do with her....I like my privacy...not tht I'm that easily pissed...but I mean I would be ready to answer those kindof questions (personal) ones for someone close to me..not just any joe-blow...neway getting back to where I was....these slight things added up and the gap between us kept widening....now suddenly out of the blue she has started mailing me regularly and being extra nice..only coz she has had a misunderstanding with her other important "hang-out buddy"....

but yeah she doesn't mean nething to me..so I'm neither hurt when she distanced herself nor pleased now that shes bombarding me with about 5 to 6 emails a day....and this has happened before too....a couple of times in high school...then with few other people from college....and now here...I'm so used to it....doesn't bother me much if selfish morons decide to pick and choose buddies according to convinience....My mantra being...waste time and emotions or tears only for those who matter and not every persons who crosses paths with you...may be get a runner's high or get bit high on booze at times or whatever the hell works......if you need to release the stress, tension, anger that is building up inside you every day....coz that is much needed....

neway my bag was becoming increasing heavy with the passing days...& today it ripped and stuff fell out of it when I was down at the local shops buying a bottle of Hajmola "imli" on my way back from uni... :( I have been so busy...its almost 2 or 3 pm by the time I manage to get settled for the day.... the Honours room in our school has been taken away and has been given to some visiting lecturer as his office space...and now pooor us...poor Me...I do not have access to e-views or a pc and every morning i have to spend time convinsing the reception clerk to open up a damn hot office for me....whats worse is his attitude drives me mad with anger...his indifference and his habbit of turning a deaf ear to our repeated pleas.... :'( I just hope I'm able to wrap up all the mess and hotch potch pieces of my notes into a lil more meaningful something by the end of august...or I'm in for trouble... oH! sweet lord....!!!

spice of life...

Its a regular sunday...uni starts from tomorrow...the usual things are on in life...routine....not much of a change....no surprices...which is something I don't like....I mean what would keep you going if you do not have anything to look forward to...and the next day is no different from the day that was...yesterday....its been raining here lately and the mercury has been dipping low too...

evryone at home has been rather quiet...actually because I'm keeping to myself...yesterday was fun...went to a theme park and went on all the rides a good number of times...for one of them.... was like a pirate ship...only scarier...this one did a full circle...went on it after diner..although it was exciting.... the moment it did a half swing...I felt like I would throw up everything I had throughout the day....neway....

watched a movie called the notebook a while back...based on a novel with the same title..by nicholas spark...a touching ...heartwarming...heartbreaking...story as they call it....it struck a very familiar note...the bollywood devgan production release called U me aur Hum....not so long ago is a rippoff from the notebook....

got over my last crush....this one didn't last that long.....oh well..

u know or you don't.....

I'm back...was in a bad mood to begin with in the morning...well why not..after all the toothache is getting worse... :'( and I was asked to go to uni for absolutely no good reason...the stupid lecturer cld have emailed me the things he did after taking a look at me....before he had done so...and then i thought i would get some of my modelling stuff done..and guess what not a single pc on campus i had access to had E-views on it...made me so mad...what a complete waste of a nice day....such an unproductive day...and i kindof woke up bit late and had to rush so i totally forgot about breakfast or lunch...soooooo.....its was a triple deal....tooth ache+ear ache+head ache....

neway...while on my way home a picked up a handfull of movies....7 english and 1 bollywood...the recent amir khan banner film..jaane too ya jaane na...aka u know or you don't....a whole bunch of new comers...apart from imran khan ( who i have heard is related to aamir khan) none so cute....hes cute in a wierd sort of way...neway very sweet touchy story about two friends in love who don't realise it (coz they had taken each other for granted) till they part ways...and thats when they start to feel the void created by the other.....liked it...

I have yet another crush....this time its this adorable really sweet guy from class...but alas something stopping things from taking the natural course again...but every time I talk to him...I can't help but think "O! how cute.."& "oh my god hes soooo nice"...and "oh why meee god!!".....damn....!!!have to get over him....my list of crushes and "for the moment" dates have been goin on for quite some time now...one things good about it being this way....doesn't give me time to get bored... ;) but i also crave something meaningful at times....and such flicks make this feeling a tad strong.....

wisdom comes at a cost...

true to the title...wisdom really does come with a hefty price tag on it....for my case its pain....don't be surprised...yes u heard me its pain....i'm talking about the so called "WISDOM" in big black capital blocks and in masive quote unquote marks....
I'm talking about the painful process of wisdom tooth tryting to tear through my gum to surface and get a taste my mouth...this has been on for almost four years now...Mommy keeps telling me...you are a girl learn to endure pain....of this sort...its been part of life for a really long time now...This time round the situation is such....Its frikkin cold and I have been feeling a bit low lately and Uni starts next week and I have a hell of a lot of work pending and to top it all wisdom unasked is knocking at my gums and causing me immense discomfort not just because of the swollen left side of my gum but a slight pain in my ears too because of the tooth ache...Boo HOoo.. :'(